Yesterday morning I overheard my 6 year old son say "Stupid" and immediately my 4 year old daughter said in an almost threatening tone "Ho-ho, you said a bad word. I am going to tell Amma." Yes, "stupid" is a taboo word in my home. Call me "stupid" but I believe that the word is one of the most demoralisng words that can be  used on another person (although some people truly deserve it), especially amongst children.

This little scene got me thinking of the taboo words in my personal "dictionary" and how I have modified, deleted and/or substituted them over the years. Here are some of them:-

1. Pass flatus - i.e. "fart" (I cringe even as I type this word); let out gas. My father who passed away when I was 16 was somewhat an easy going man but he never or at least I never heard him) use any vulgarities, "fart" included. We always said "pass flatus" like prim and proper girls to the point that using it came as naturally as passing flatus. Many of my friends did not understand what I meant when I said that and they tought I was absolutely weird. Why say pass flatus when you can say fart. I remember when I was in London doing my Bar, my good friends gave me a perplexed look before falling off their chairs laughing when I said it. Despite being ridiculed about it, it is still in my personal dictionary and I have passed it on to my kids. Let them bear the ridiculing too until they are ready to drop it out of their own personal dictionaries (but not in my presence though).

2. Colourful expletives - One might think if I cringe at the word "fart", colourful expletives would be a definite no-no. But alas, that was only true until I got married.....and it has nothing to do with my marriage. My man, how shall I term it......is more street-wise. We grew up in completely different worlds. There are times when my man can have a full conversation with a good friend just using expletives and what amazed me was that they actually understood each other! Once, I tried to have such a conversation with him by sending him a message while we were at work. Simple numerical message: 12429 (Simple but those who can't make it out, go figure ;) Well, that turned him on so much but that's another story altogether.

So, I tried them for fun another day on my man, just for a laugh and it was funny. We still do that only in a joking manner NOT within the earshot of our kids. Now, I have "progressed" to extending the usage with him to when I am frustrated a situation at work or something. It's still between us and I would not dream of using it otherwise.

Talking about expletives, the 4 letter word is probably the most popular. It's F this and F that or what the F is going on or who the F does he think he is. Tracing the true meaning of the infamous word, it dates way back when policemen made rounds to curb prostitution and when these people were caught, these policemen had to insert an entry into the station's file as to the reason for the arrest. The term used for such a situation was caught for Fornication Under Carnal Knowledge. Since it was a long term to keep writing, they shortened it to the current 4 letter word. So the next time you say F you, you are actually saying fornication under carnal knowledge you :)

3. Shit - This is still taboo. It's faeces or droppings my dear, not bird's shit or have you finished shitting. I attribute this idiosyncracy of mine to my wonderful mum and her medical background. It has always been B.O i.e. "bowels open" meaning you managed to successfully answer nature's call. The other one is P.U i.e "pass urine". Yes, these are passed to my kids too and yes, they will be ridiculed but I don't give shit, ooops, I don't give a faeces :)

4. Fat - Nothing really "bad" about this word but I find people tend to use it very insensitively. So it remains in my dictionary and that of my kids' current ones.

Well, this is my somewhat short list although with point 2 above, one can actual write a novel. What's yours?